萝莉视频

Picture the scene, you鈥檙e out for a well-earned post-work drink. A single wasp flirts dangerously with your glass. You swipe at the air. Is your evening ruined? No. It鈥檚 a minor inconvenience, and your light-hearted conversation continues unbroken.

Imagine now the wasp brings its mates along. You can鈥檛 really blame them, your drink is sugary, they鈥檙e hungry and drowsy 鈥� they don鈥檛 know any better. You swat them away, but your conversation is thrown, and frustration rises.

Individually these tiny upsets don鈥檛 factor into your memory of that night, but if these waspy insults are repeated, you might suggest a different beer garden for your next outing.听

That鈥檚 sort of how I feel about microaggressions, except the consequences are far greater than having to choose a new pub. They can make the difference between feeling welcomed and loved, and othered and shamed. At first glance, some do look a little harmless, and might well be ignored or deflected by a simple answer, but when these microaggressions are repeated (and not necessarily just by one person on any given day), they amount to a dangerous swarm of negativity that is difficult to overcome.

Why is that comment insulting?

There is always a degree of difficulty in accepting that well-intentioned behaviour can harm another person. One could argue that some microaggressions (usually the questions) are misguided attempts to show an interest in a person. Let鈥檚 be blunt though - uninvited discussion of any person鈥檚 sub-underwear body parts is, when you think about it, deeply odd. Curiosity is entirely natural, but when knowing the answer to some of the questions levelled at our trans colleagues isn鈥檛 going to change anything in your world, these questions seem entirely pointless. 听I cannot imagine this being a line of enquiry in any cis circles, (you鈥檙e unlikely to meet your new colleague and enquire as to whether he is circumcised!), and when we know this to be harmful and hurtful, there鈥檚 no reason to do it.听 听Similarly, apparent concern for the partner of a bisexual person brings along with it an assumption that attraction to more than one gender is synonymous with a rampant desire to be unfaithful. (It isn鈥檛, by the way).

Some microaggressions could even seem like compliments that elevate us above other people in our social demographic. How could anyone possibly be offended by the suggestion that they鈥檙e pretty? It might be because we have (perhaps inadvertently) been shown that we have been categorised as an undesirable 鈥榯ype鈥� before the words are even out of your mouth.

Microaggressions are confusingly named because it鈥檚 rare that they are delivered or intended aggressively. They鈥檙e small insults to wellbeing, but even small things can chip away at someone to the point at which they become injurious. You might be the first person who鈥檚 equated being gay to being bad that week, and you might be the hundredth. And really, when we have many other words for 鈥榯errible鈥� at our disposal, is it necessary to use 鈥榞ay鈥� as a pejorative?

I鈥檝e heard people say, 鈥淲hy come out and draw attention to yourself if you don鈥檛 want to talk about it?鈥�. I would love there to be a day when a flippant disclosure of sexuality by referencing a partner or an experience didn鈥檛 cause a ripple through a conversation, or give way to an interrogation, but we鈥檙e still not quite there. Of course, we could simply check ourselves, and not mention anything that might 鈥榞ive us away鈥�, but since cis or straight people don鈥檛 have to make this conscious alteration to their life stories, I don鈥檛 really feel like we should have to. Equally, as mentioned in my previous 萝莉视频 blog, I want my matter-of-factness to reassure others questioning their own sexuality that they aren鈥檛 alone. I rather think the forethought should be right before a microaggression 鈥� 鈥淒oes this matter?鈥�, 鈥淚s this my business?鈥�, and most importantly, 鈥淗ow might it make this person feel?鈥� and truly, I have never heard something follow 鈥淚鈥檓 not homophobic but鈥︹�� that wasn鈥檛 wildly homophobic.

A learning opportunity

Defensiveness surrounding microaggressions tells LGBTQIA+ colleagues that your feelings about your intentions are more important than the effect they have on others. These posters and blogs aren鈥檛 here to tell you that you鈥檙e a bad person for having previously said some of these things 鈥搕hey鈥檙e intended to provide some forethought. After all, we鈥檙e all learning and growing together in what we hope will be a more diverse and inclusive profession.

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BVLGBT+ is a volunteer organisation with the aims of building a veterinary LGBT+ community, supporting LGBT+ individuals in the veterinary professions and campaigning for LGBT+ rights. For more information and to join visit .听

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This blog is part of the 萝莉视频 #BigConversation on microaggressions. You can download posters to help start the conversation in your workplace, or read our blogs looking at microaggressions related to:

• Disability and chronic illness
• Mental health
• Gender
• Race